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Panic Buying List

I’ve had a good think about the items which are best to panic buy, you know – for the apocalypse or any other mass-emergency. I’ll provide a list here in case it’s useful for others. You’re welcome.

Stay safe, everyone. Kia kaha.

 

Panic Buying List

Panic buy… novels. Good ones. Stockpile as many as possible.
Panic buy paintings by skilled local artists, and
poetry collections of all kinds.
Panic buy some music tracks by a variety of moody singer songwriters who are either whimsical, hopeful or fatalistic about the state of our future.
Panic buy… a performance artist or two (the ones without lycra or spandex are best).
Fizzy wine (for inappropriate celebrations – big, superficial and small).
Cranberry juice, elderberry anything, campari (to add red colours to remind us to be aware of and grateful for our ongoing heartbeats).
Panic buy cat food (including live mice, rats, and geckos – these are all good training for the cats to learn cockroach hunting).
Paper bags – to put over the face and do groaning into (this process expels misery followed by laughter).
Clean pants, socks, bras, sunglasses, veils, hats, novelty bowties, suspenders, waistcoats and toe rings depending on the preferences of the household.
Panic buy some vegetable and flower seeds and a nest to encourage birds into.
Things to trade with neighbors – find out their foibles in advance. Scented candles, dead sea salt, mustard powder, chocolate, shoe laces and guitar strings are all possibilities.
Panic buy a witch or two, with wands, cauldrons, and a means of making fire.
Panic buy some dried food for the above: try apricots, seaweed or frogs.
And if the following items are not available for purchase, continue to look for them wherever you go:
A few pillowcases stuffed with clean air.
Perfumes of all varieties.
A collection of decent swearwords.
Empathy, love, and the will to help others.
A snow globe to shake at the state of the world.

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